bluepepper: (Default)
[personal profile] bluepepper
I find it difficult to put thought to words. Some would find this an easy task. Me, not so. I procrastinate on this one. I always have. I've never enjoyed creative writing. I'm unsure of why this seemingly simple task is so daunting to me. List making. Thought to words. I keep thinking I aught to update my journal but then the thought becomes overwhelming. I never know where to start or what to put to words. It feels like I just spew words into paragraphs, this awkward writing style I have. I write a few lines and then get tired. So then I put the computer away and nothing ever seems to get posted. And what does get posted is just a teensy weensy little snippet of what has been going on in my world because I don't have the attention span to get it written down. So then... what's my issue? Attention span? Planning? Forethought? Awareness? Preparedness? Tiredness? Commitment? What is it that I actually give a damn about? What do I want to do from here on out? My brain just answered "Train". Train. I seem to be afraid of success. Because I'm afraid of failing I am apprehensive of seriously committing to training. Success doesn't come without the risk of failure. I feel like I'm flailing and want to have someone take me by the hand and do with me the steps to success. But then I think if I think that way I'm part of the problem. Blindly being led. Sheep mentality. I want to be challenged and I'm afraid at the same time.
Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
Account name:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.


Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.


bluepepper: (Default)

September 2017

3456 789

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 21st, 2017 09:09 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios